Nothing Feels Better Than This

Photo credit: Falacci Johnston

Nothing Feels Better Than This

Hi, it’s been a while.

Writing has been on my mind for some time. I was reading through old posts and laughed at how much life has changed. I look back at the person I was and I can barely recognize her. I’ve written and rewritten this post countless times since 2019. Each time I’ve come back to it, something major has evolved.

In the past handful of years, I climbed many mountains, quit my job, went back to school, injured my shoulder, graduated from a Kinesiology degree program, went through 3 different insulin pumps, became a DIY looper, married my best friend, adopted a dog, and had a baby.

I’ll pause here for a minute while you take all that in. I’m still taking it in, too.

We have a beautiful baby girl.

When she was first born, our lives changed immensely, so did the magnitude of our adventures. We knew things would be different and time would become elusive, but we didn’t know how much things would change. For a short period, I grieved for our old lives. We were weekend warriors and we lived to get out of the city and deep into the mountains every week. While I loved the newborn months with her, I missed the way things were.

We’re now well into toddlerhood. The last two years have taught us that time is fleeting. One minute she’s completely dependent on us for everything and the next minute, she’s holding up her head, standing on her own, and shooing me away when I try to extend a hand. She’s fiercely independent. She’s curious, resilient, and has a growing sense of adventure.

While we could bring her along on long hikes and overnighters, all she needs at her young age is play. It’s how she learns about herself, her environment, and the world. It would be unfortunate (maybe even adverse) to take time away from play and spend it on long drives and hours spent in a carrier. In all honesty, I would feel bad. As parents, we’ve learned to slow down and follow her lead. We’ve made a conscious choice to cut back on our hobbies to let her be little, while still exposing her to the outdoors through shorter & closer hikes.

I love her. She has been incredible to observe, get to know, and guide. Motherhood took me by surprise. I love it. The good, the bad, and the hard parts – I love it all with my heart and soul. I love it more than the mountains, the uphill effort, the rewarding views, and the downhill thrill. Nothing feels better than this.

I’m at a crossroad with my adventure blog and I don’t know which way I’ll go. I can either keep posting about hikes, camping trips, and other adventures, or share our parenthood experiences (in reference to the outdoors, of course).

I often struggle with posting on social media. I’m torn between wanting to share all her photos and wanting to grant her privacy until she can decide, for herself, how ‘out there’ she wants to be.

If you’re still reading this, thanks for sticking around. I appreciate it.

This week, we’re heading into the Canadian Rockies for our first long trip away from home and away from luxuries.

Wish us luck!

– Ash

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